A Quiver Full of Misunderstanding

With the birth of Michelle Duggar’s 19th baby it seems like everyone has an opinion of big families. While I don’t currently have a mentor I do have to say that I love the Duggar’s show. I have read their book and eagerly look forward to any updates on their family. Since the birth of our 3rd child Proeun and I have chosen to let the Lord bless us as He will as far as number of children. Family and friends alike have had difficulty conceiving and we have seen the heart break this all too common problem can cause.

When we married we had our plans, but the Lord gently adjusted us and our plans. Now we eagerly await the return of fertility and the possibility of baby number four.

When I was young I was surrounded by families with 2 children. To have 3 was considered a large family. I met one family with 4 children and that seemed really unusual and in my thinking of the time irresponsible. Yes I admit that I was one that totally bought in to the idea that the only responsible thing to do was just replace yourself. My parents had two children and wholeheartedly believed it.

When I was in college a new idea was presented to me, it wasn’t necessarily the number of children but amount of resources consumed by said children that was the problem for our planet. Children in the U.S. consume vast amounts of resources compared to a relatively small amount among children in other parts of the world. We have developed the idea that certain things are required to raise our children well, a TV in their own bedroom, a video game system, new clothes every year, sports activities, summer camps and private schools. All of these cost vast amounts of money and resources. Many families are never home and spend large amounts of time driving from place to place. They are literally home to sleep and that is about this. It is a base of operations that the family goes out from, not a center of family activity.

It takes guts to go against the flow. It takes guts to tell your family and friends that you are no longer “planning” your family. Luckily my mother and father are supportive as well as Proeun’s parents. But the siblings all think we are crazy. My sister says I am addicted to babies. I suppose that is it but it is also much more. I can’t imagine putting my choices on TV and get all the back lash from that. On a recent episodeof the Duggar’s TV show  they took viewer questions. One young woman could barely keep the disdain from rising in her voice as she asked about resources the family consumed. The Duggars didn’t bat a lash they just calmly explained how they made choices every day to consume less resources then they normally would. The Bates family which has been on the show frequently lived until just recently in a 1000 square foot house. They live without debt. They “buy used and save the difference,” and they actually live in a home, work in a home and go to school in a home, this alone will save resources.

I say bravo to the large family. When I had my 3rd child I knew we were on the way. Our midwife jokingly said that I would need one more child to have a large family, we are hoping soon.