Monthly Archives: March 2010

Food Budget and Household Duties

We are a family of 5 living on one income, with the expenses of starting a new business and trying to save money to buy a farm. We watch our money very closely. One thing we learned early on is that food is an easy place to loose control of your budget and also a little less easier place to cut spending. For months and months we have had a very tight food budget. We try to gorw as much of our food as possible, and preserve it for when fresh isn’t available. We buy grains, dried food, and pasta in bulk once a month from Country Life Natural Foods. We try to grocery shop no more then once a week and occasionally stretch it as far as every 2 weeks.

Then I got pregnant and everything changed. Not only am I more aware of nutrition and the needs of a growing baby (I admit I had gotten lazy in my own nutrition) but I just feel like I am eating much more. I have been trying to stay in budget, but have the complication of a budding foodie in my household. Whenever we get any extra money Avril wants to go grocery shopping, even when her grandparents gave her a monetary gift her first thought was going grocery shopping.

This week I went grocery shopping, a series of events meant that I was actually able to go by myself. I went to Trader Joe’s one of my favorite spots (just wish they had a few more interesting veggies like collards and Japanese eggplant). Honestly I went a little crazy. In addition to thinking how good everything would taste I thought about what my children would like and what could be prepared simply while I am still battling morning sickness. I am very happy with the food, but not its effects on the budget.

I told Proeun, “If we want to stay on budget don’t send a hungry, pregnant woman to the grocery store.” I asked Proeun if he would do the grocery shopping knowing that this had been his duty when living with his family before our marriage and trusting that he would make wise decisions. Still I honestly felt like I would be adding another burden to his already cramped schedule. Then yesterday he said to me, “So when do I get to go grocery shopping?” Obviously it is not the burden I thought and will hopefully be a good change for everyone.

Making Brothers and Sister Best Friends

We always wanted our children to have a good relationship with each other. My sister and I do but that didn’t really develop until she was 12 and I was 16 and I had a broken leg making my 12 year old sister my primary care provider for one really long summer. At one point she told me with maturity beyond her years, “Amy I love you but if I spend one more minute with you I am going to go crazy.”

Proeun and his family were close in the way that really extremely difficult circumstances tend to bond people. Whether it was fleeing imminent death in your home country, surviving in a refugee camp, moving across the world to a neighborhood and country that didn’t understand you and sometimes didn’t want you or growing up with no money and not enough food to go around, these circumstances tend to bond people. But even then when conditions got better school friends began to take the place of family closeness. For his next youngest brother with really bad consequences of bad friends and situations that seemed innocent enough at first.

After moving to Minnesota the brothers became closer and Proeun’s family has been an example to me of sibling closeness. But all around me I see siblings that are distant at best and openly hate each other in the worst cases.

This weekend it really hit home for me how important it is to develop and maintain healthy relationships in the immediate family early as this will be the support system that will carry them through the rest of their life.

I think we are off to a good start. They love each other, play with each other, fight and forgive each other. They are really excited about another sibling joining our family.

One book that really helped me was Making Brothers and Sisters Best Friends

This book is written by 3 siblings ranging in age from 20 to 12 at the time of the writing–including one adopted sibling. This book helped me see that not only is it possible for siblings to get along but to be best friends! I really wish I had read this as a young woman before moving out of my family home. Even though I was older when I read it it helped me see my relationship with my sister in a new light and make steps to repair some of the damage to our relationship. I highly recommend it. It can also be read aloud as a family with older children.

Seeding Begins

With the warm weather it is easier to think about farming again. I do have to admit thinking about warmer weather to come and all the good food to come from our fields has helped get me through a long cold winter. Now the actuality of my dream seems closer. A little over a week ago we still had nearly a foot of snow on the ground. Now it is all but gone. Over the weekend we set up one of our 2 portable greenhouses to begin onions. Yes our first seeds are in the the trays and it feels really good.

My soul mate did most of the work getting the potting mix the right conisstency and putting it in trays. This was one job Two really enjoyed helping with.

The girls enjoyed the greenhouse more.

Starting seeds has always been a nervous time for me. Waiting and waiting till that first green pops up and then anxiously watching it until they are ready for the ground.

Now that the actual farming tasks have begun rather than planning and paperwork the children are getting really excited. When I had to take my father-in-law to an appointment I asked my mother-in-law to watch the children. They had a great time playing with the leftover potting mix and pretending to plant seeds. Now Avril asks, “Can we go outside and work on our crop plants?”

The Census has arrived

After nearly a year and a half of hype the 2010 Census arrived at our house today. This is my first census with a family and house of my own. Last time around my parents were one of the “lucky” ones who received the long form–this has been done away with this time around.

The Census gave me an opportunity to review my past 10 years. Over the past 10 years things have changed a lot. Not only have I become a wife and mother but I have become intimately aware of the complexities of race in Minnesota and our nation. For instance minority communities really need to be counted but often resist for fear of unscrupulous government tactics. Many of these ideas come from their countries of origin where the government was not an entity to be trusted.

For the past year and a half I have been working in the minority press to try and get the word out. Now that the Census is finally here I wonder if all our efforts will pan out.

Even for mainstream Americans filling out the Census ensures representation in government. Our House of Representatives is based on population and my state is not the only one who risks loosing a seat.

The slogan for the Census is “10 questions, 10 minutes” for me it took less then that even with 5 people in our household. I urge everyone to fill it out and if possible think back 10 years ago and what has changed.

Spring has Sprung

The day after we all had to “spring forward” spring decided to appear in a much more pleasant way–with 60 degree weather. Living in a climate with more extreme seasons allows for a phenomena of good feeling not so easily experienced elsewhere. After a long cold, snowy winter all it takes is a day of unseasonably warm weather to put literally everyone in a good mood.

Two who has been cooped up all winter can’t get enough of the great outdoors. Even Avril was game for a walk around the block with her bike removed from the basement just minutes before.

It felt wonderful to be able to take out the stroller again also. Last year walks still consisted of Mavis on my back, so it is a welcome relief for both of us to have a little more freedom. She got boots from her uncle for Christmas so she is all set to stomp through the puddles with her siblings.

Two apparently decided it was warm enough to dip in the pool. Even if it was just melted snow.

Proeun asked me if I though winter would come back. I said yes, but is was great today.

The Taste of Summer

I have never thrown up with any of my pregnancies. In the past morning sickness has been easily remedied by a handful of almonds or a swig of peppermint tea. Not this time around. I still haven’t thrown up but my morning sickness has turned into an all day event that really makes me want to just curl up on the sofa. However I still have 3 children to raise.

Yesterday Two wanted to go outside. With weaning, teething and morning (all day) sickness going on all week we had canceled appointments and stayed home for nearly a week. Two is bored out of his mind. Did I mention it has rained nearly all week. Our snow banks that had still been deep enough to loose a boot in is all but gone.

So back to the request to go outside. It meant getting off the sofa, getting everyone ready to go outside and then actually do it. It didn’t really sound good to me but I decided to sacrifice. When we went out I discovered there was a lull in the rain and i didn’t feel sick at all. So I set to work cleaning the yard of a winter’s worth of dog poop. I heard rumors we were supposed to get to 60 degree next week and knew a yard of dog poop and warm weather didn’t mix. Miraculously I felt really good working.

I started thinking about summer and spending times outdoors working and how much I love it. Then for dinner I pulled out a frozen container of my favorite oven roasted tomato sauce with basil. When I opened the container it smelled like summer–heavenly. Even with being sick to my stomach it was the best meal all week.

Teething, Weaning and Sleepless Nights

My milk is drying up. With my other 2 children they just lost interest once this happen but for Mavis this happens to coincide with teething. So she wants to nurse but is upset because the milk isn’t coming so she wants to nurse more and more which makes me really sore since the pregnancy is making me tender anyway. Needless to say the past couple of nights have not gone well.

The Bible says that we are to be like little children. Does this mean being in a good mood in the morning no matter if we have been up all night crying due to the fact that our main source of comfort isn’t doing the trick anymore and we don’t understand what’s going on and we don’t like it and we feel wronged and maybe a little unloved?

She is definitely much better at this then I am.

Tomato Soup

With my other pregnancies when Proeun would ask me if I was craving anything I would jokingly say, “yes, something someone else cooked.” Now I see my role as nurturer spreads beyond breastfeeding, cuddling and warm feelings to the very physical act of feeding my children as healthy food as possible to nourish their minds and souls.

Though I see my job in a different light honestly it doesn’t make it easier to do when you are dead tired from being up all night with your newest toddler who happens to be teething or your 3 year old who has a fever again and kept the 5 year old up. Yeah it’s not easy getting up in the morning and cooking a meal you can feel good about feeding your children.

That’s where having simple, healthy, fast dishes if a great help. Here’s one of my favorites.

Tomato Soup

1 cup water
1 cup cashews
1 medium onion

Blend until smooth.

Add 2 cups water (I normally add only 1, I like a thicker soup)–Blend again.

1/4 tsp oregano
1/2 tsp salt (eliminate if using canned tomatoes)
1 tsp basil
2 TSBP oil
1 TBSP honey
4 oz tomato paste
1 qt canned tomatoes

If using fresh tomatoes, cook tomatoes in a kettle for a few minutes until soft. Add rest of ingredients to blender. Whiz to incorporate. Heat in a kettle, do not boil.

I use the tomatoes I canned last summer. I didn’t make any tomato paste but if you did that would add another fabulous element to this dish. It takes like 5 minutes to whiz it up. Even a tired mom with morning sickness can handle that.

Hot Cocoa Mix

I know spring is on the way but recently I was at a friend’s house. Her 5 older children and my 2 older children were playing outside in the snow. When they came in everyone was in the mood for hot cocoa. My friend whipped out a gallon ice cream container full for hot cocoa mix, I was in awe. I asked where she got the recipe and she said Betty Crocker. We were out of cocoa mix at home so I decided to purchase the ingredients next time around.

Then I realized I could adjust them to my taste. Here’s the basic recipe

Hot Cocoa Mix

3 1/2 cups nonfat dry milk powder
2 cups sifted powdered sugar
1 cup powdered nondairy creamer
1/2 cup sifted unsweetened cocoa  powder

Combine all ingredients and store in air tight container

To mix: 1/3 cup mix in a mug and 3/4 cup boiling water (note I think you should use at least one cup water otherwise it is too strong).

So since I am allergic to dairy products I decided to use Better than Milk–Soy powder in Vanilla flavor. I also went to Trader Joe’s and got their cocoa and I left out the nondairy creamer.

Once I went to a church women’s retreat with my mom, grandma and aunts. The resort had amazing hot cocoa–thick and rich. This mix reminds me of that. I won’t buy hot cocoa mix again and the price is hard to beat!

Personalized Towels

Every year for Christmas my sister gives the children handmade, personlized gifts. This year it was big, fluffy bath towels with their name embroidered on it. The kids love having their very own towels and as parents it makes it much easier to have the name right one it so as not to mix them up.

We had been using the towels for a couple weeks. I grabbed Avril’s towel, held it out for her and was waiting for her to get out of bath. That was when she looked at me and said, “Mommy you have to turn me upside down.” I looked confused so she pointed at the towel and said “it’s upside down.” I looked down and sure enough she was right.

I was honestly a little baffled as to how she figured that out and over the next couple of days I tested her. She was right every time. Then I let it go for awhile and last night decided to try again. I deliberately turned it upside down to see if she noticed. I wasn’t disappointed.

Our approach to homeschooling has been more of an unschooling approach. Instead of traditional class work, we work to enrich our family life and learning opportunities in day to day life. I try to read to the children several times every day. I also try to nurture their natural interest which is probably why Two knows what deer tracks and bald eagle nests look like and how to spot animals in the wild. Some days I am better then others. The past couple of weeks have been crazy and i feel like I really need to get back on the ball, and then they remind me that they are learning always.

Still the children constantly surprise me, whether it is recognizing not only letters but if they are upside down or questioning my philosophy on life (you laugh but it happens).