It was July 17, 2019. Friday of the Chisago County Fair. Avril was showing one of our goats at the fair and we typically spend ALOT of time at the fair. That morning I got an odd call from my sister. She is not a weather buff or even a news buff but she had heard that potentially serious storms could be coming through our area and called to warn us and ask that we keep an eye to the skies. In fairness the weather has been getting more severe over the past couple of years and we have had our share of storms but because my sister called I took it to heart.

After lunch and the dairy show I asked Avril to come home with us to help with chores. About 4 o’clock we went out to feed the animals. It was getting dark so we fed the animals we could indoors.

Then we saw the clouds and went inside to batten down the hatches. It was fast, all of 10 minutes but the high winds and hail left a massive amount of destruction.

In truth it seems like the pressure of life had been building for a long time. We had made the decision to stop doing our CSA but then weren’t sure what our next course of action should be. Then Proeun’s brother passed away unexpectedly and the whole family was thrown into a turmoil. I was also facing alot of pressure and personal issues.

Now I see the storm was the release we needed, the intense focus of energy did cause alot of damage (honestly the repairs are still not completed) but it gave us something tangible to focus on. There were 3 major trees that went down around the house. One hit our car and totaled our car. Another punctured our roof and caused water damage in one of our bedrooms. Other trees went down on fencing and in our field. Right after the storm I would say my home looked a little like what I had been feeling inside.

Now we know how and what to rebuild. So sorry for the radio silence for so long. There have been alot of storms here, but now we are rebuilding and I am very excited about the opportunities.

It has been ages since I wrote. What have I been up to? Well a full summer of swimming lessons, rural school, camping and honestly I can’t even remember what we did except try to get a break as much as possible and try to recover. 2017 was a very difficult year for us as a family and it really felt like we had never been able to slow down and catch a breath. So our goal for this year was to get healthy–mind, body and spirit. But it seemed like I wasn’t really able to get started on that goal until this summer when I came across Sharny and Julius in a Facebook post. I was inspired by Sharny’s story and realized she had a similar number of children, was a similar age to me and we had similar before (only my before picture was actually how I looked at the time). I began to think maybe I had another option then accepting that my body would never be fit again (actually I don’t think I had ever been really fit, only young).

Their program was affordable and I signed up for their 8 week exercise program. Each day was 15 minutes or less and could be done in your home with no special equipment. The very first day was a challenge but I persevered and completed all 8 weeks!

While I began with Sharny’s eating program as well I was introduced to Danette May and her 3 day detox. I had always wanted to do a detox but was told you couldn’t if you were nursing or pregnant. I have been one or both for the past 15 years! But this detox was completely food based so I felt safe doing it. Also my baby was no longer exclusively breastfeeding. Danette May has alot of tragedy in her story. She lost a son at childbirth, followed by divorce, extremely hard economic times and depression so debilitating she couldn’t leave her house. She used health–nutrition and exercise–to change her life around beginning with her mental health and outlook. I really needed help in this area and so I tried the detox. By the end of day 2 I called me mom and told her, “I am happy for no reason!” This was a huge change in my life.

After the detox I started looking really closely at how I was eating. As Danette said nutrition and food is 80% of our health. So I knew I couldn’t go back to the way I was eating before. Around this time my father went in for open heart surgery. Hello wake up call!

Then I remembered Trim Healthy Mama. I had been one of the original mamas back when the book was first published 5 years ago. I enjoyed it, lost alot of weight, and then got pregnant again. Then life hit me full force. This time around there are so many resources (like pictures, and blogs and products!) to help you on your way. This was the one time that Proeun and I could agree on what was healthy and the whole family enjoyed healthy food regularly. So I once again became a Trim Healthy Mama.

Now I am down 20 pounds. While I am not lighter then I was in high school I am wearing a smaller size clothes and am feeling completely satisfied and nourished. It is amazing knowing that you are putting in the time to take care of your health because you are worth it. Now if I were to pick one word to describe how I feel it would be Vibrant.

I was so inspired that I decided to become a coach! I am now a THM (Trim Healthy Mama) certified coach. Here is a link to my coaching page.

So I have been doing THM for awhile and not really talked about it. But I was inspired today. By what you ask? My snack.

As I said there are so many great resources out there. This week I am doing the October Challenge with My Montana Kitchen. This is a Fuel Cycle Challenge which is designed to cycle through different fuel (food) types to rev metabolism. It is not recommended unless you have been on THM for 6 months or over. But that doesn’t mean that you can not enjoy some of the delicious recipes. This snack was so good it inspired my post today! Chocolate Peanut Butter Cookies and Secret Ingredient Hot Chocolate (the secret ingredient is okra). I made the salted caramel version.

All the recipes have been great but another favorite is Southwest Chicken Salad. We had this for dinner last night and Proeun took the leftovers for lunch. Literally every time I have talked to him today he has told me how much he enjoyed the salad.

If you are interested in learning more about my health journey or talking about how you can get started on a path to better health–mind body and spirit check out my coaching page.

Over the winter much of my time has revolved around writing and reading. Being a writer it is easy to think I know how I am supposed to be spending my time. But this spring I am reminded of the mind clearing benefits of manual labor. My days have been filled with

• scrubbing floors and window
• shearing sheep
• mucking out barns and stalls
• clearing winter debris
• cuddling children with skinned knees from playing outside
• repairing winter damage

Now when I am feeling guilty about taking time away from “work” I am reminded that sometimes it is hard work that is best for clearing the head and starting new. I could definitely use a new start.

This weekend we had snow. Snow so significant that Minnesotans, who are normally quite used to large amounts of wet stuff being dumped on us, canceled virtually all possible activities and stayed home for the weekend. This all happened on April 14 and 15th! While I love being home and snow can be quite fun my sanity saver has been the knowledge that soon, very soon we will be wearing sandals and shorts again.

Honestly I was feeling pretty down. We have been having a big life transition where we have come to realize that our farm will be a hobby farm versus a farm that supports us monetarily. It hasn’t been an easy realization. We have questioned a lot of decisions up to this point. We even contemplating putting our farm on the market and moving back to the city where it would be easier for us to both work outside the home.

But the children rebelled against the idea. This is their home and this is where they want to stay. This weekend I was reminded why I want to stay too. I was going out to do afternoon chores when I spotted something black in the snow. On closer inspection it was a little lamb and suddenly chores became very exciting. I leaped the fence–actually climbed over clumsily. Picked the lamb up and stuffed it in my coat. Then I had to wait for someone to come help me out as I couldn’t climb out holding the lamb.

We rushed her back to the house where she got a quick warm bath and a blow dry. I left her with the children as they continued to dry and warm her and went back to try and find out which sheep had given birth.

It has been a rough year for our animals. We thought that maybe none of our sheep were pregnant. In fact this little one’s mom was the one we were sure wasn’t but I guess life finds away. We spent the next 30 minutes cleaning up the mom, getting the hind quarters sheared so the baby would have no trouble nursing and getting a pen set up for mom and baby complete with a heat lamp. I knew the mother had been attentive because the baby had been cleaned. When we returned little Lucy to her mother after being warmed and dried they talked to each other. The mother was definitely making different kinds of noises then I have heard before (this is our first lamb) and nudging the baby to eat. We were so glad that the separation and human scent didn’t disrupt bonding.

I told Proeun that night, this is why we live here. This is why we have animals. Even though there are heartaches and tragedies life still finds away, even in the middle of a snow storm.

While my husband continues to provide most of our financial support from his off farm job, I really love the fact that I can contribute to our family’s income through writing. This is even better because my work is so often fun. I have written before that writing for the local paper has brought me a deeper understanding and love for my little portion of the world. It also allows me to go some really fun places. This last Saturday I heard Kelly Barnhill speak at Anoka Ramsey Community College in Cambridge. Barnhill is the author of The Girl Who Drank the Moon. 

Author readings have become one of my favorite activities and for this one it was especially fun because I was able to bring my daughters. We have been reading The Girl Who Drank the Moon so it was especially meaningful for them to meet the woman who had written one of their favorite books.

Barnhill is local– growing up in a neighboring city, attending the same college and visiting many of the same places as me. She said of her book that she set out to write a book that featured a “false narrative.” It is the story of a village in a mystical land. The elders of this village have convinced the people that the woods surrounding their village is dangerous. There is a witch that lives there. The only was to keep the witch happy and keep her from killing everyone in the village is to sacrifice the youngest baby in the village to her, every year.

The twist is there is a witch, but not an evil witch, and she can’t figure out why those crazy people keep leaving babies alone in the woods. So she takes them from their reckless parents and brings them to another city on the other side of the forest where she picks an adoptive family and they grow up happy and healthy.

One year everything goes wrong. The mother fights for her baby, she is subdued and sent to the tower. The baby is a special baby, and the witch chooses to raise her as her own granddaughter.  This is the beginning of the story and how the false narrative unravels. There is a young man who witnesses the elders of the town fighting this woman for her baby and he begins to ask questions. Barnhill said,”Questions are really really powerful. They can change a mind, a life, a community, a world. Kids now this. Sometimes grownups are really good at ignoring things.”

Hearing Barnhill has got me thinking about false narratives. I shared her story with my husband, now we have clear succinct words to describe the tragedy we are all living through–the false narratives, tauted as truth. As Barnhill said, “who benefits from these narratives.” When we begin to question what is truth, or if something is true we need to analyze who benefits.  We need to ask questions.

Kelly Barnhill with my daughters

Looking for a full project to do this month. Check out this suggestion from my book.

Maple syrup

Once it gets to the time of year when it is still freezing at night but warming into the 30s and 40s during the day that is the time the sap starts flowing in the trees. This brings the life blood back into the trees’ extremities. This is also the time of year when you can make the most delectable syrup around (in my humble opinion)—maple syrup.

When we were still living in St. Paul, my sister-in-law had a large maple tree in her yard. We went to a maple syrup workshop at Fort Snelling State Park and bought the taps for the trees. We convinced her to let us tap her tree, and over the course of the month we collected about 2 gallons of sap. Then, one Saturday night, the whole family came together and we boiled down the sap. Since it was a small batch, it was okay to do in the house (normally it would put off too much moisture). We stirred and stirred and watched and watched, and everyone thought we were crazy. Then finally the boiling liquid visibly changed from a watery consistency to a syrup. It happened quickly, just like that. After it cooled a bit we had a crowd of kids gathered around the huge pot dipping spoons in and eating the syrup. For many of them they had never had pure maple syrup. If you haven’t either, this is really a treat. Even if you only have one tree, it is totally worth the experience. And while small batches won’t give you a lot to preserve, you can easily do it in the house. Even a small taste is worth the experience.

If you want to learn about tapping maple trees, you could take a class like we did at one of our local State Parks. But it is relatively simple.

Step 1. Locate your trees. Maple trees have distinctive shaped leaves (think Canadian flag). It would be helpful if you did this step the previous fall. Also make sure the tree is at least 12 inches in diameter.

Step 2. Drill your hole. If this is your first year it should be relatively easy as you won’t be dealing with old “wounds.” These instructions are from www.tapmytrees.com. The spile (there are pictures on the website) it refers to is the one part you will have to buy, but they even sell them at Fleetfarm (or any farm and seed store) in the spring. This is the part that goes into the tree and causes sap to flow out to the spigot:

“The size of the drill bit to be used is dependent on the type of spile you are using. Most spiles require either a 7/16 or 5/16 bit. Drill a hole 2 to 2 ½ inches deep. It may be helpful to wrap a piece of tape around the drill bit 2 ½ inches from the tip to use as a guide. Drill at a slight upward angle to facilitate downward flow of sap from the hole. The shavings from the drilled tap hole should be light brown, indicating healthy sapwood. If the shavings are dark brown, drill another hole in a different location.”

Step 3. Hang a bucket on the spile and start collecting sap. It will be slow, but you should check it frequently. I would begin checking daily till you get a feel for how much sap you will get. When the bucket (ice cream buckets work well) begins to fill, pour it into a holding container.

Step 4. Once you have collected your sap, it is time to start boiling it down. If this is a fun experiment for the family (and if you have a small amount) this can be done inside. If you are wanting to store it or even sell it, you will need to boil off at least some of the water outside or the moisture will be too great in your house and it will saturate everything. Remember it takes 40 gallons of sap to make 1 gallon of syrup.

During this step you are boiling off the excess water until only the sugars remain. This page http://www.tapmytrees.com/pages/collect-sap-make-syrup has good pictures of the process.

History: Little House in the Big Woods has a wonderful description of a syrup-making party. In a time when white sugar was a expensive luxury item, maple syrup and maple sugar (boiling it past the syrup stage) was a way that you could make your own sweetener. Note: Molasses syrup was another common sweetener at this time.

Geography: Study where maple trees grow. What are some other forms or syrups that people in more tropical climates use? Learn about sugar beets, sugar cane, honey, etc.

Resources: I thought the website www.tapmytrees.com had the most comprehensive information about tapping maple trees online. They also sell supplies, so beware that they may suggest things you do not need.

Your local feed or farm supply store will likely have everything, you need especially in the spring.

Edmund Burke said, “Those who don’t know history are doomed to repeat it.” This has been a family motto so long I had to do a google search to find out who originally said it. My father in particular is a history buff. All our family vacations included trips to local historical sites. I loved it. So when my dad suggested I read Silent Night: The Story of the World War I Christmas Truce by Stanley Weintraub I did. Even though I already had a full docket of books waiting in the wings.

I am not familiar with WWI though I did write a paper on how it started in the fifth grade. So parts of the book were a little difficult. Weintraub refers to different units like the Westphalians and I wasn’t sure which side he was talking about. But what struck me was that this truce started in the trenches. Normal soldiers who had been shooting at each other coming together to bury the dead, talk, exchange gifts and get to know each other. Once the higher ups found out about this unofficial truce they were furious. We can’t have the men talking. Then they might like each other, refuse to fight and the war would be over. Then what would we do? Is my paraphrase of their thinking.

Yes these officers wanted the war to continue so much that they threatened court martial of officers in the field whose men had “fraternized” with the other side. They also reassigned units that talked with the enemy. The commanding officers (and the powerful elite that wanted the war in the first place) knew that only if the men saw the other side as caricatures would they be willing to fight. They used propaganda and spread lies about the other side. But if the men met and talked they might actually like each other and lose their will to fight. There were already stories of soldiers who when commanded to shoot across no man’s land at the men they had talked with, played soccer with and celebrated Christmas with the day before they shot intentionally high.

So the surprising parallel that I discovered in reading this book is that today in this “culture war” if we knew each other, if we spent time with each would there still be a will to fight? Who is trying to prolong the war and stir up hate? Who is trying to make sure that the two sides do not talk, do not meet in no man’s land? Is this war really a war of ideals (remember all wars are billed as wars of ideals by the protagonists) or one about money and power (what wars are really about)?

When I was attending College at an all Women Catholic College one day my work supervisor–Sister Margery–told me we would have a new worker in the library. Her name was Ummi Abeeha, a Muslim whose family had migrated to Kenya. We spent many hours talking in the the archives of our college–sharing stories, asking about each other’s past and religions. She was the first Muslim girl I had met and not at all like the caricatures I had seen and heard about.

I love the Casting Crowns song, “Jesus Friends of Sinners.” My favorite line is “No one knows what we’re for only what we are against when we judge the wounded. What if we put down our signs crossed over the lines and loved like you did?” Each side has their trenches. The lines that they will not cross. We are expecting politicians and leaders to lead the way. We need to learn from history. If we want a peaceful end to the war it starts in the trenches. Let’s meet in No Man’s Land. Action step, find someone who would be considered an enemy according to today’s culture war and get to know them, just for the sake of knowing them. Maybe find something to celebrate. Let’s #StartFraternizing.

I remember when I only had to contend with the lure of TV. We didn’t have cable either, or DVR so it was limited to the time that children’s programming was actually on PBS. I am sounding very old but it is true. Now we have multiple electronic devices that provide hours of entertainment at any time of the day or night. I feel like I have been fighting a losing battle against all this mindless entertainment.

Luckily I have my sister to help me combat it. She has always had a love of board games (though she also loves some good tech) for the past couple of years she has painstakingly picked out age appropriate board games to give my children as gifts. Here are just some of this year’s Christmas offerings.

We haven’t delved into all of them yet but that is just because we have found a favorite–Forbidden Island. I enjoy board games but I have tried them before with my children and often struggle with rampant competition that often ends in tears no matter how much I lay down the rules of “being nice.” But with Forbidden Island  the players work in cooperation to beat the game. You work collaboratively to capture the treasure and get everyone off the island before it sinks. We are hooked. We played for the first time yesterday–all afternoon. Then into the evening. I finally had to say “ok only one more time before bed.” The best part is because everyone was working together even the little ones could team up with a bigger kid towards a larger goal.

Now I am inspired to pursue more games. What are some of your favorites, for children or adults?

When I was a kid I was totally focused on Christmas. Even as a young mother I loved decorating and buying or making gifts for my children. But slowly I have grown older. I feel my attention shifting to New Year’s. I am now middle age. I no longer wonder what I will be when I am an adult or wonder what my life will look like. While I am continually striving to grow, learn and teach my children along the way sometimes a reset is in order. New Year’s is such a great symbolic reset.

I don’t remember a year that I have looked forward to a reset more. 2017 was tough–life alerting, shattering tough. I have high hopes for 2018 but honestly the bar is pretty low to be better then 2017. For this coming year we plan on the typical health and wellness. We also want to capture more time with our children.

This New Year’s weekend was bitter cold in our neck of the woods. The HIGHS were somewhere in the -10 range. So we stayed home. We watched movies, cuddled, cooked and ate good food, talked about our hopes and plans for 2018 and got the reset I was hoping for.

I even had a chance to knit a bit. With such a dizzy, disruptive year behind me I didn’t have much energy for my typical hand made Christmas. When I did have time or energy much of it went to a new book I am working on. But as plans formed for the perfect New Year’s I decided a quick knitting project would be the perfect addition.

It is the Lyalya hoodie. The pattern is more expensive then I would normally buy but this is the 3rd hat I have made with the pattern and my oldest daughter even made one for herself, so it is a great pattern that I have used often. I knit it up over New Year’s Eve and New Year’s Day using some yarn from our own Lincoln Longwool sheep. You can purchase the yarn here. I am so pleased with how it turned out and even more pleased that I took the time to create something special for the best part of 2017–Unnah, our new addition for the year. She will be a year soon, already goodness in the new year. Here’s to a blessed 2018.

As the mother of 5 girls and 2 boys the #MeToo movement has had me very interested. While much of my energy has focused on preparing my girls for the world, my boys also need to know how to live and contribute to the world.

As I was checking my email this morning I saw this story about parenting questions the #MeToo movement is raising. At the same time I am doing an on-line course with Jack Canfield (author of the Chicken Soup for the Soul) books. He speaks about how it is important to come “from a place of giving” in life and business. I believe that is the missing component in all this discussion. There is much talk about consent, but I feel that consent is not where our focus should be.

I am blessed to have the example of my husband in my life. Throughout his dating years he always tried to be open and honest, saying what his expectations were and being careful not to behave in a way that would make someone think he was something he was not. When we began dating–on our first date actually–he told me that he had a very full and happy life and he wasn’t interested in a “just for fun” relationship. If he was going to invest time in a relationship he wanted to make sure we were on the same page and looking for something serious and long term. I was. The next 10 days we spent many hours talking, trying to figure out if we would be compatible for a long term, intimate relationship. On the 10th day he proposed. Ten Months later we were married. This year we will celebrate 15 years together.

As we raise our children together we try to model openness and honesty with ourselves and others. Why are we behaving in a certain way? Why do I want something? Is that really going to add to my life or more importantly the life of others? Coming from a place of giving is a concept that is much simpler then consent–except that it requires us to be our best self all the time! However if we were able to accomplish it imagine the world we would live in!!

Imagine how different our conversation would be if every person who has been identified by the #MeToo movement as a predator thought first, “is what I want to do going to enhance this person’s life or experience?”

As we raise our children we want them to both know who they are and why they behave in certain ways and be able to think about the other person first. Some may think that the idea that intimacy should be the goal in sexual relationships versus sexual gratification is old fashioned. The idea that it is old fashioned is why we are having this conversation. I do not believe that the idea of consent is strong enough to safeguard our society. Love and giving however–while admittedly not universal on any level– is strong enough. Ideals by definition are something we strive for, why not strive for love and giving in all things as we parent? Let’s see what the world can become!